How small moments of presence can help you reconnect with your own life.
You can live with intention, care deeply about others, and still feel disconnected from yourself.
You may know how to make someone feel seen. You listen closely, notice when something is off, and make room for what they’re going through. Yet when you turn that same attention toward yourself, you may feel unsure of what you need or where to begin.
In my work as a coach, I often see how unfamiliar it can feel for thoughtful, highly capable people to offer themselves the care they so readily give to others. They want to feel more connected to their own lives. They’re just not sure how to get there.
When Caring for Yourself Feels Unfamiliar
Being intentional can add another layer of pressure. You’re aware that something needs attention, and you want to approach it thoughtfully. Before long, reconnecting with yourself can start to feel like one more thing you should know how to do well.
When you’re already overwhelmed, even deciding where to begin can feel like a lot.
I often encourage clients to begin with presence: making a little room to notice their own experience.
The Quiet Part of Coming Home
What I’ve learned through coaching is that finding our way back to ourselves can be a quiet, sometimes lonely journey.
Many of us find it easier to feel present with other people. We’re engaged in conversation or caring for someone we love. Being alone with our own experience asks something different of us.
Without someone else’s needs to respond to, we may notice how quickly our minds fill the space. We start planning tomorrow, replaying a conversation, or reaching for something to fill the silence.
Even with support around us, learning to listen inward takes practice. It can feel uncomfortable at first, especially when we’re used to directing our attention outward.
And because we keep growing and changing, this is a practice we return to. What helped us feel grounded a few years ago may be different from what we need today. We get to keep noticing.
A Small Practice for Being Present in Your Own Life
In a coaching activity I use with clients, I invite them to make a list of things that help them slow down enough to be present in their own lives. You can try it, too:
Make a presence list. Consider a warm bath, bike riding, a long walk, journaling, baking, meditation, or reading. Include things that help you feel connected to your own experience.
Choose one small moment. Pick something that fits the time and energy you have today.
Notice while you’re there. Pay attention to what you can feel or hear. When your mind wanders, gently return to the water, the page, or the path in front of you.
Check in afterward. Ask yourself: Did I feel a little more here? What did I notice? Let that guide what you choose next.
Reflection Questions
What helps me feel present in my own life?
What do I notice when I’m alone without a task to complete?
How have my needs changed in this season of my life?
What is one small thing I can do today to strengthen the muscle of presence?
For a deeper look at your relationship with yourself, take The Roots Assessment, a free reflection resource.
Related Reading
In Making Room for Play in a Busy Adult Life, I share how a bike ride helped me notice something I wanted more of in everyday life.
Making Room for Yourself
Presence is one way to practice Authentic Awareness, the first root in my Roots of Authenticity™ framework. Giving yourself time to notice your own experience can help you recognize what you need and what matters to you.
Through coaching, we explore the beliefs and familiar patterns shaping your choices and practice making room for your own needs.
You are someone you can learn to be present with, too.
If you’d like support finding your way back to yourself, begin with a brief coaching application. We can explore whether working together feels like the right next step.
