Find the Edge
My oldest son recently joined his middle school’s running club. He was a bit disappointed after the first couple practices, because the focus was on “dynamic stretching.” What a bore, he thought, because he was ready to hit the ground running (quite literally). I wanted to show interest in what he was learning, as well as, encourage the value of stretching before a race or in life in general. I asked him to show me what he picked up so far and we sat down on the floor together in his brother’s bedroom outstretching our legs. As we leaned to one side, I felt the back of my leg get tight and discomfort set in. “Whoa, that muscle is tight,” I exclaimed. I shifted my body out of the uncomfortable stretch and my son jumped in to guide me.“You want to feel the stretch and hold it there to help the muscle. You don’t want it to hurt, but you have to find the stretch.”
On an intellectual level I knew this to be true and it seems so basic, but hearing my son say it out loud was an Ahh Haa moment. In order to make progress in any area of life, we must find the edge of our discomfort and chose to lean in a bit. As we lean in to the discomfort, we become more flexible and our capabilities increase. The same is true when we find ourselves facing a challenge, fear, anxiety or limiting belief. With consistent practice, the edge of our discomfort shifts and moves; allowing us to lean in further than ever before. Learning, growing and becoming a better version of yourself involves this very stretchy process. I’m going to break down the four necessary steps of stretching your mind, body and soul. Let’s cultivate resilience and live from a place of great strength!
Step 1: Awareness
Become aware of the edge of the stretch or discomfort and gently lean in a bit. Not too much, but just enough. Recognize what you’re noticing within your body and visualize the edge of where it begins for you. Everybody is different and the edge today will likely feel different than it did yesterday. What stress is going on in your life right now and how is it impacting how you feel and show up? The first step will always be awareness and without awareness there is no next step.
Step 2: Acknowledge
Acknowledge what you’re feeling and validate why it makes sense you’re feeling that way. Has it been a while since you last stretched or is there a challenge you’re facing that has turned up the heat in your life? Drop all judgment and embrace curiosity through this process. Allow yourself to explore the situation without going into problem solving mode. It’s a common misstep at this point to leap ten steps forward instead of simply acknowledge the discomfort.
Step three: Be present and hold
The only expectation is to find stillness and hold space for the challenge you’re exploring. Common traps in response to sitting with discomfort can be quitting, denying the problem exists or plowing past the discomfort to jump ahead ten steps. Genuine growth cannot be ignored or rushed. Practice honoring the present moment as it is and use deep, calm breathes to help yourself focus your attention on the present moment. You can do this!
Step four: Take-aways and action
What came up for you during this process? What did you learn about yourself or the challenge you’re facing? Do you feel any lighter or is part of the path becoming more clear? Place your focus on learning (rather than blame, guilt or judgement) as you nurture a growth mindset! Oftentimes, an actionable next step will present itself during this process. Don’t underestimate the small, seemingly insignificant actions either, because those can hold the most powerful transformation. You may learn you need more of this conscious, intentional time. Repeat this process as often as you need and come back to the edge of discomfort as you stretch your mind, body and soul into a sustaining habit that reinforces how capable you truly are.
Taking time to understand yourself and your experiences, allows you to make choices better aligned with your core values and desired outcome. Through this process, you move away from confusion, anxiety and fear and closer to a loving, deeper driving force within you. This force is always present. Tapping into it is a learned skill. Similar to your muscles, leaning-in to find the edge of discomfort facilitates a stretching that is necessary for your expansion and unveils tremendous possibility in your life!
You got this,
Jill
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