The Day I Learned to Trust Myself (One Lawn Mower at a Time)


After my divorce, I had to learn how to mow a lawn for the first time.

At the time, it felt like much more than learning how to cut grass.

It felt like another reminder that I was entering a season of life where I had to figure things out on my own.

I bought an electric mower off Facebook Marketplace, wheeled it into my yard, and got to work.

I was nervous.

Not because mowing a lawn is particularly difficult, but because I had never done it before.

I worried I would mess it up.

I worried I would look foolish.

I worried my neighbors would see how clueless I was.

As it turns out, I wasn't entirely wrong.

The grass was too long. I wanted to bag the clippings, but nothing was going into the bag. Grass was blowing across the driveway, onto the sidewalk, and clumping throughout the yard.

And then the voice in my head got loud.

*"You look like an idiot."*

*"Your neighbors are probably watching this disaster."*

*"You have no idea what you're doing, and it shows."*

What surprised me wasn't that those thoughts appeared.

I've been a life coach for over five years. I know we all have an inner critic.

What surprised me was how quickly and harshly that voice showed up when I felt vulnerable.

When I was inexperienced.

When I didn't have control.

When I wasn't immediately good at something.

Then something shifted.

Years of inner work kicked in, and I caught myself.

I asked:

"What outcome is this kind of self-talk going to create?"

I was already learning something new. Why was I making the experience harder by tearing myself down?

So I chose a different response.

I reminded myself that vulnerability is a natural part of growth.

That courage doesn't always look like confidence.

Sometimes courage looks like showing up while feeling uncertain.

I reminded myself that I was a capable woman figuring something out for the very first time.

So I lifted my chin, kept mowing, and finished my yard.

Was it perfect?

Not even close.

Did I struggle?

Absolutely.

Did I figure it out?

Yes.

And every time I mowed after that, it became easier.

Today, I actually enjoy it.

Not because I became an expert lawn mower, but because that experience reinforced something much more important:

I can trust myself.



What I Learned

Trusting yourself doesn't mean believing you will do everything perfectly.

It means believing you can navigate the moments when you don't know what you're doing yet.

Many of us believe confidence comes before action.

But often, confidence is created through action.

We build trust with ourselves by taking the next step, learning, adjusting, and discovering that we are more capable than we realized.



The Coaching Takeaway

Many of the people I work with are highly capable, successful, and dependable. Others trust them. They show up for their families, their careers, and the people around them.

But when they enter unfamiliar territory, their relationship with themselves can change.

The inner critic gets louder.

They judge themselves for not already knowing the answer.

They confuse struggling with failing.

They forget to offer themselves the same compassion they would give someone else.

This is the work we do together.

We uncover the beliefs that shape how you respond to yourself during moments of uncertainty. We rebuild self-trust, strengthen self-compassion, and help you move through challenges with greater confidence and authenticity.

Because growth isn't about becoming someone who never struggles.

It's about becoming someone who knows they can handle the struggle.



 Reflection Questions

Where in your life are you expecting yourself to already know what you're doing?

What would change if you approached yourself with the same patience and compassion you would offer someone you love?